My Journey with Feminism

Growing up in a Mexican household the word “feminism” was not one I was familiar with. Even so, misogyny affected me in many ways. I felt it when I realized my older brother was exempt from everything when it came to cleaning and given every ounce of freedom I longed for when growing up. 

Being a kid was a fun time— there wasn’t a thought behind those eyes besides playing and laughing. Photo by Yasmine’s mother.

I remember the feeling of disgust and confusion when my uncle would roll his window down and catcall women who were walking by. I was 11, shrinking in the back seat wondering why men thought that behavior is okay. It was the same feeling of loathing and anger I felt when I was 15 and would quickly walk home because I knew I would be catcalled by random men driving down the street. 

Then I learned that I wasn’t the first girl who felt all these frustrations and wanted it to change. I learned there was an entire movement and ideology that since I have learned I practice. It’s feminism. 

Feel 

As I was exploring feminism I began to analyze the women in my family. I looked at them and wondered if they had wanted something different if they had a dream they felt they couldn’t do. 

The feminism I was learning about didn’t touch on the experiences of Mexican women who were raised to be silenced and to be married and to have kids. It didn’t make apparent that that was all their lives were-- a constant cycle they were stuck in. 

I was learning about the third and fourth wave of feminism about inclusivity and still fighting the system. I had not thought about my grandma and my mom who were raised with completely different ideologies. The same one that has me do everything in the house and allow my brother to sit in his room. As well as the one that has my aunts serving and working away in the kitchen while my uncles stay sitting down staring at the TV. 

It’s a cycle that doesn’t end unless we teach future generations to just let women be free and be able to choose for themselves. 

Yasmine and her sister Amy smiling amidst their play fighting. Photo by Yasmine’s father.

I was able to sit on the couch and ask my grandma the question I always wanted to ask. “What was your dream before they told you you couldn’t?” I felt bad even asking the question, but her eyes glimmered slightly and she smiled at me softly, almost like remembering what it was she wanted. 

She answered in Spanish: “To study, but they told me I shouldn’t because it would be too hard for me.” She stayed smiling at the thought. The reality of my grandma, nearing 80, makes my heart ache at what she wasn’t able to do. But still she learns and asks me now about my hopes and dreams and shows her excitement and support for me and my journey. 

I can’t help but lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling while feeling slightly guilty for taking all of this for granted sometimes. I think of the women before me often, not given a chance to explore the world and conquer it, yet here I am with those options and still not conquering it. Will I ever? I don’t know, I just know that I have to keep fighting for more everyday. Fighting for our right to just be women. 

Simply Being and Growing 

As women we are constantly being told to not be or to be, being told I should be more ladylike or be more outspoken. Sometimes it feels like there is no win in these situations. Even now the only thing coming to my mind is the joke on Barbie made by Jo Koy during the Golden Globes. We just can’t win. 

It’s a feeling I go through at least once a day when I don’t feel comfortable being able to just be. I remember vividly when I so badly hated the idea of being feminine I was young and just wanted out of all these feelings. I grew up being a pick-me girl and I look back and cringe at all the moments I denied myself to be a girl. I wish I could tell her Just be you. Love everything that makes you you, even the parts of bows, pink and One Direction. I remember I so badly wanted to love all these things, but my brain connected them to be weak and soft. 

In a pose ready to fight. Photo taken by Yasmine’s mother.

Anything that had to do with just girls being girls and being free and happy I was so negative about. I was afraid to be connected to that part of me and now I'm making it up to myself. I

began proudly wearing ribbons on my bags and loving the way it feels to just be a woman not ashamed of the things that I have so fiercely denied before. “It is a feminist statement to proudly claim things that are feminine,” Jennifer Baumgardner and Amy Richard’s wrote in Mainfesta: Young Women, Feminism, And The Future. 

That being said, this feminine era we seem to be going into as a society, an era of being comfortable with ourselves means we are allowed to just be. Taking back the claim on softness and being fierce and completely unapologetic of who we are as women. I have learned the importance of being who you want to be whether that's feminine, not feminine wherever you are comfortable. That's what matters. 

Learn 

I remember when I first began to truly take the word and call myself a feminist at 17. At the time, I ignored the idea that men could be feminists too. I just knew I was angry with them, especially in high school where boys were at their worst. I remember being upset at them all the time, blaming them for upholding the patriarchy. 

“I’ve grown quite a bit still trying to find my place somewhere letting myself be.” Photo by Bridgette Jaime, Yasmine’s best friend.

Then I brought myself to the ground and educated myself, that yes the patriarchy is something we are fighting, and that men can help the movement. Feminism is a sisterhood. Feminism is giving women a choice and a voice for themselves, fighting still for equal pay and respect in the workplace. It’s constantly fighting for a right to have control over your body. Being a feminist is being a sister to the women around you and to the men who support you. That’s what I’ve learned about feminism. And am proud to have grown and learned through books and articles by Angela Davis, Gloria Steinem, Dolores Huerta and Jane Fonda. I am a proud woman and a proud feminist.